5 Subtle Ways We Disempower Ourselves & How To Call Our Power Back

What we give our attention to can either empower or disempower us.

The difference is in the energy that’s behind it – are we in lack and fear or wholeness and love?

Here are five subtle ways I realised I was disempowering myself. The more I recognised them in myself, naturally, the more commonplace I realised they are among friends, clients and people I meet.

It’s time to call our power back.

1. Waiting:

Being in the energy of waiting insists we can’t be at ease or we can’t take action until all the conditions are ‘right’.

For example, if we are in fear of sharing our message we can justify delaying action – waiting to do a course that ‘qualifies’ us to show up.

Another example is ‘I’ll feel better about myself when I’m in my dream home’. The energy of waiting to feel good ignores the abundance that already IS you.

Both of these examples arise from the inability to connect with the miracle of your existence and the gifts you have right now.

Calling Back Your Power:

Reconnect with your worthiness and CHOOSE the permission you seek to move forward. Expand your awareness to take action from what IS in your control, and enjoy the whole damn process – LIFE.

2. Being Distracted:

When a child wants us to play, he or she will tap us persistently until we make eye contact and listen to the plea.

Unprocessed emotions are like the child, tapping on the shoulder of the person who’s too absorbed in activity to notice the plea.

This type of distraction is one of the most common yet subtle ways we disempower ourselves. It says ‘something outside of me is more worthy of my attention than my emotions are’.

Conversely, we can distract ourselves from what needs our attention by being too passive.

Particularly among spiritual groups, there’s a collective unconscious belief of ‘not yet enough’ – that you cannot show up and create something until you’ve processed more emotions, wounds and limiting beliefs.

This type of distraction gives our power away to the egoic agenda to keep us small and contained. 

Calling Your Power Back:

Notice the taps on your shoulder and be open to what needs attending to. Be mindful of over-indulging emotions. Processing them is vital to your wellbeing but it doesn’t need to paralyse you.

Create space to reconnect with your soul’s mission and harness both activity and passivity to serve that mission. 

3. Relying On Rituals:

Anything we do ritualistically can be empowering or disempowering – depending on what’s motivating it.

For example, smudging our body or home can be performed mindfully and with a clear heart intention. But rituals can become another form of addiction if we are not checking in with our intention. 

Performing a ritual as an act of self-care can shift to a superstition-based ritual if we develop a ‘need’ for it. We give our power away when we create a dependency on something inanimate to make us feel safe.

This disempowerment can become even more subtle when we transfer it to the ritual or practice of yoga.

Yes, yoga is one of the most powerful ways to connect with ourselves and get in alignment, but when it’s motivated by ego the practice becomes less about pleasure and more about an attempt to measure our worth. 

Calling Your Power Back:

Bring attention to the energy that’s behind the ritual or the practice. Ask ‘what’s motivating this?’ Connect with a higher frequency intention, ENJOY it.

4. Seeking Flattery:

There’s a subtle-big difference between wanting acknowledgement and seeking flattery.

The first is about looking for feedback – that the intention behind our expression of our love or our work or our appearance is received according to our intention.

It is important to understand the value we offer and the impression we give via our transmission so that we can decide if we want to adjust.

Seeking flattery is placing our sense of worth in the hands of others. This can look like buying or wearing clothes from the perspective of the people we hope to garner compliments from, adopting beliefs so we fit in, needing to feel desired because we’re unsure if we would desire ourselves etc. 

We’ve all been there and we can all slip back into the subtle methods of seeking flattery when our sense of worthiness is low. 

Calling Your Power Back: 

If you catch yourself seeking flattery, send love to the part of yourself that needed external validation to feel good.

Instead of being in self-judgement, there’s an opportunity for empowerment – you’ve been shown where you can strengthen your connection to worthiness.

5. Operating From ‘I Should’:

The most subtle of all the ways we disempower ourselves is making choices from the ‘should’ voice.

I’m not talking about the voice telling us we should move our body and shift a low mood. It’s the insidious voice we need to pay attention to, the one that slips into almost everything we do.

The insidious ‘should’ voice is ‘I am not enough’ in disguise. It will tell us that the very first impulse we had, is wrong.

Operating from this insidious voice denies the power of our inner guidance.

It says ‘I should do it like this, because that’s how so many others are doing it’. Or ‘I should be into that thing everyone’s posting about so I can belong’ or ‘I should do that thing because I don’t want to let people down’.

That voice gnaws at our sense of ease, autonomy, confidence and individuality.

Calling Your Power Back:

When you catch yourself buying into the ‘I should…’ track back to what the first impulse was. Ask yourself what feels true BEFORE the ‘should’.

Cultivate deeper trust in your impulses without needing to rationalise them. This will set you free from self-imposed rules.

If you need support in reconnecting to and operating from worthiness click HERE to learn about working with me. 

“There is no greater power than that of the sun, the moon, and a woman who knows her worth.”

– Nicole Lyons

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